Knocked Up and Out
by The-Wicked-Have-More-Fun
Summary: -One Shot- In which Arlene and Dilan learn their unborn child dislikes his father's singing.


**Once again, this is completely the fault of my Child Development class. We were watching a movie on the development of a fetus and I got the urge to write for preggy!Arlene.**

**Now, before you read this let me explain it a bit: This is sort of a 'What If' story. _What if the Nobodies got their hearts back?_ Overdone, I know, but I really had to. If you haven't read my other stories "Something There", "Lunch Date" or "Persuasion", then I'll let you know now that Dilan is Xaldin's Other (which everyone probably already knows) and Arlene is my idea of who Larxene's Somebody was. It's pretty easy to tell who Even and Myde are, so I'll leave that be.**

**Now to the legal stuf. This is a fan work and I do not own Kingdom Hearts...if I did I'd have the Organization perform Moulin Rouge for me on a daily basis.**

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Of all the horrible things Dilan could ever imagine, all the terrible things Xaldin had seen and done, nothing seemed to either of them to be worse than Arlene or Larxene becoming pregnant. Now, the former was having to go through this experience for the second time. Yet somehow, with his wife sprawled out in bed in sweat pants, a too small T-shirt that exposed much of her stomach and, to top it all off, her dirty blonde hair fixed into two short braids over her shoulders, Dilan couldn't help but smugly think of how the mighty had fallen.

"Dilan, stop staring at me like that." Arlene grumbled, forcing herself to sit up and glare at him. Her rounded belly, incubating their child already six months into development, seemed to be the most dominating feature about her petite at the moment. Her narrowed eyes though, once again the startling blue and green fissure instead of Larxene's cat-like deep green, came in a close second. "It's weird."

The former apprentice cracked a grin and snatched up her both bare feet by the ankles, pulling them into his lap. Arlene made no sound of protest, though her expression clearly stated that if he even attempted to tickle here there would be grave consequences. To quell her irritation, Dilan grinned as he began massaging her obviously sore feet. "My apologies, darling." His grin only widened as he listened to her groan with pleasure and flop onto the pillows piled behind her back.

"Urgh, why're you so _good_?" She moaned, closing her eyes in ecstasy.

"Funny, I seem to remember you saying that with that exact same expression about six months ago."

Arlene's eyes shot open and she scowled at him, feeling too lazy to lift her hand to slap him. "And, if memory serves, that's how we got into this mess." The archer grunted softly as Dilan's thumb drove into her heel. "Ugh, you always hear women saying the second one is always easier. Those bitches are liars through and through." She sat up on her elbows, her eyes narrowed at Dilan over her stomach. "You remember how it was when I was playing incubator with Lily? Smooth sailing. No morning sickness, no swollen ankles, no aching back. I hardly knew I was pregnant. Now look at me." Her lips formed into a pout as she thought of all the nice breakfasts Dilan had cooked that had gone down the toilet early in her pregnancy.

"Ah, but don't forgot the hormones." Dilan pointed out with a smirk, a lock of his black hair curling over his forehead as he gazed at his wife. Since the return of his heart, the mane of thick black hair that had once been maintained in dozens of elegant braids was gone. Within a week of regaining his heart he'd gotten his first haircut in years, trimming his mane of hair to the nape of his neck where it curled thickly around his head. His sideburns, though, remained in place. He'd never have the heart to shave them off.

"Pfft, the hormones. Don't even remind me about the hormones. Those were the fun part." Arlene grinned and rested a hand on the curve of her stomach. "Hey, Dil, who do you think is gonna be a bigger attention whore, our little hell spawn or Myde and Even's Lilith?"

"Hmm..." Her husband grinned at her, considering his options. Before answering, he slid her feet off his lap and stretched out on the bed beside her, resting his hands and lips on her swollen belly. "That depends." Dilan planted a soft kiss to the exposed flesh of her stomach.

"On what?" The blonde propped herself up on her elbows to smirk down at him.

"On whether ours takes after you and if Lily is as much like Myde as I think she'll grow up to be." He kissed her stomach again, moving his larger hand to rest on top of hers. "You know, I still think carrying Even and Myde's child has to be the most charitable thing you've ever done."

"Yeah, yeah...they wanted kids and it would've taken them forever to cut around all the red tape you have to go through if you want to adopt. Besides, I hate seeing Myde upset. Little fag's grown on me since my heart came back." Arlene sighed faintly, her free hand rubbing the side of her stomach. She flinched suddenly. "Hey! The little bitch just kicked my organs."

Dilan laughed and gripped her hand gently, lifting his head to kiss her fingertips. "Still in the womb and already developing your temper. I have to worry if that's a sign of things to come."

"Oh, shut up and sing to it. Myde's sitar playing and signing always seemed to calm down Lily when she was taking up residence in there."

"Arlene, you know I can't-"

"Do it, bitch, or no sex until this little parasite is out of me."

With an exasperated sigh, the dark-haired man pressed his cheek to the top of Arlene's stomach, trying to remember the words to the songs Myde had sung to Lily when she was a fetus. He kept his voice to a low murmur as he chanted, "The stands in your eyes, the color of them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath...emeralds from mountains and thrust toward the sky, never revealing their depth..."

After a moment of no response, a sudden strong kick to his cheek made him pull away in surprise. For a brief, stunned moment his eyes locked on his wife's and they both burst into a fit of laughter.

Arlene snorted loudly, covering her mouth as a high-pitched cackle escaped her lips. "You know what this means, Dilan?"

"What, Arlene?"

"Since our own child has dubbed us both tone deaf, Uncle Myde gets to come over and sing all the lullabies." She grinned wickedly at the thought of the young sitar player having to drag himself to their apartment. "Every single night."

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**If anyone was confused about this let me clear it up. When Even and Myde got married they, of course, wanted children. They were thinking about adoption but Arlene quickly shot that down and offered to be a surrogate mother to their child on the condition that they use a donor egg from another woman to, as Arlene put it, "stop my other potential offspring from catching the gay." **

**...Isn't she wonderful? Anyway, make sure to review! I love getting feedback and I won't get any better without it!**


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